Some type of DEPTH

I think I have finally figured out the depth of something in my life. By depth I mean I have reached the bottom and it's not that far from the surface. I thought there was more too me then what there was. It was all knowledge though. The knowledge never went past the mind. It never penetrated the heart. The mind without the heart is useless. I realized that I knew a lot about what I believed, but I couldn't get over myself. I was in the way. I didn't see that to have a real relationship with the one who loves me unconditionally I had to step down from the step I had used to elevate myself. A real relationship has struggles, but no one ever tells you that it's ok. Not that you should stay there, you need to be seeking help to learn and move forward. It won't always be easy! But why then is that what I'm being told by the many faces around me. Offer encouragement, but tell me not lies but truth. Junk does happen in your life yes, but most of time we don't make the connection in life to our relationship with Christ. I want to be grabbed, I needed to be grabbed by Him. I can't do this on my own and I am brought back again to my knees begging for forgiveness, which He has granted. Thank you Jesus!

Just Breathe

Let me ask you this. Why is the world in such a hurry? Go through high school-you graduate, go through college-graduate-get married-find your dream job-start settling down. There is so much to see and so much one can do that I find it's really hard to wnat to do that. I mean I would like to do all those things and I feel like if I don't right out of college I'm going to miss it. But I feel like if I'm waiting for it or him, then maybe they're waiting for me to. I would like to hope so, because I feel like after seeing Boston I want to travel and visit and take chances and learn. Life seems so much bigger now then just going through with one thing then on to the next; it's like were on otto pilot and I'd rather not be. I guess I had been talked into going through the cycle by the world and the fast passed life. I actually don't mind it, but I think I want to try this way from now on. It's hard though, especially when one finds themselves in the position of falling in love. What happens if you fall in love too early and you can't do all the things you were hoping to do? Or what if the person you fall in love with wants to do all those things with you? That would be wonderful, but in my mind not very realistic. What if I am falling in love with this guy who seems perfect, but I'm afraid to let myself feel because I want to do my own thing, though I'd also like to be with him. Do I give up one or the other? Life just keeps throwing you curve balls. I wish I would have listened to my mom when she told me life only gets harder so enjoy being young while it lasts. I was always ready for the next step, I hated the here and now. I'm finding out right now that the here and now is the most important to be focused on. What else matters. I guess all one can do is pray. God knows what He's doing. I don't, so I need to trust when my life is upside-down and trust when I find the right guy, and trust when I can't seem to do what I planed. Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. I believe this is truth. Easier said than done though for sure!